online social activism for dummies

04/03/2014

Silly

It is very easy-peasy to become an activist (of social or anti-social issues) these days. Hallelujah, hallelujah!! All of us wannabe social activists have never had it oh so good!

In fact, this post is about ‘social activism’ that I actually learnt from an illustrious parent of one of my children… believe me!  I am telling you the unvarnished truth – and unfortunately, for various reasons this parent (or parents) shall remain unnamed, sorry.

Oh, well.

To help you lazy fellows (I mean you – the unfortunate reader of this oh so very pathetic weblog), I have presented five levels of social activism, after a whole lot of painstaking research and lucubration. And, I sincerely hope that you would profusely thank me and flood my mailbox & the comments area with a zillion thankyou, thankyou kind of mushy notes, oh the hope!

Okay – onto the details of the FIVE  levels: 

Level I: One simple way of ‘Activism’ is to watch various TV channels dishing out instant solutions for all  societal/related issues (including corruption), while munching on Lay’s chips and sipping Coca-Cola or some such product of an execrable bladder. Though this is not exactly ‘online’ – this is how a wannabe activist starts off with his illustrious career.

Level II: A slightly tougher way of activism is explained in the following process: We hear of some social activism, some tussle, some skirmish, some fight – somewhere via, some darn & despicable source like a Friend, TV, Radio, Newspaper, Internet etc etc.

The gravity of this situation demands some resolute, urgent and decisive action from us. We try to get up, but we can’t, our own pair of ponderous hemispheres has become too big for our seats, and as we have been sitting pretty for a considerable time now, we are stuck in our position – so instead, we slightly tilt our bodies sideways so that one of our posterior hemispheres (technically known as ‘buttocks’) just makes an angle of some 15 degrees (no more, mind you!) to the horizontal.

Now what? This is our way of preparing  for delicately commenting on the issue by breaking a suitably well-informed and aromatic gust of wind from our anus (complicated technical jargon for this tiresome activity are many: blogging, mailing list conversations, random facebook entries, tweets, oh the sarcastic tweets  etc).

Now, please note that, sometimes, depending on the pressure of the event, some sound effects may also accompany the noxious comment – in which case, we can happily upload a truly multimedia file ‘to the Internet!’- that too incensed under ‘Creative Commons,‘ mind you.

Moral: Everyone can happily die ever-after.

Level III: A slightly more harder way is to laboriously read ‘The Hindu’ and then  to write longish ‘letters to the editor’ – but the problem here is that, one should start off with ‘apropos of xyz’s article…‘ and end with ‘to be concluded‘ or ‘to be continued‘ etc etc.

But, it is all very messy hifalutin’ English and so, one is not  advised to try that.

Again, there are many people waiting out there with drawn pens and drying ink-nibs and rickety keyboards, to give you suitable rejoinders, and your own just desserts! More of those blistering appropos-ofs? Oh NO! Mommeeeeee!

There is a much, much harder way though. It is also technology  enabled, aesthetically pleasing and community oriented. Inclusion is the name of the game here. Here it is…

Level IV: Open your mailbox with much trepidation, lo and behold, invariably you would have a slew of gory mail forwards (in fact, fwd: fwd: fwd:…fwd:s from one of your ‘following’ friends and ‘followed’ fiends) in which, you would be asked to take to the battlefront of the great fight against corruption – simply by doing the daunting  and mind boggling  task of forwarding the offending ‘fwd:’ to another zillion folks in your hitlist.

Indeed it requires so much courage, conviction and commitment to religiously  forward such mails – my eyes become glassy when I think of these brave email-forward-warriors.

My heart goes out to them. I wish them all the best. *sniff* :-(

Apparently, lately, a critter called ‘SaviourRaj’ (hic) – Saviour Raj <saviourraj @ gmail.com> – has been hyperactive on this ‘fwd:’ mafia business – and it so happened that, among many others, a few of my friends  also received this spam. The spam was about the current darling cheer leader of the unnecessarily noisy and boisterous muddle classes – Srimaan ‘Anna’ Hazare PBUH – and was titled ‘Anna Hazare fasts unto death against corruption – A mahatma announces fast unto death‘ – and oh, won’t my troubles ever end…This forward had the following (dis)content.:

  • 54 exclamation marks (= !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!)
  • 9 fwd: fwd: fwd: s
  • 6 different font styles
  • 4 different font sizes
  • 4 colours
  • 3 requests  forward the mail to as many people as possible and as ‘widely’ as one can
  • 23 mistakes in the English used
  • etc, etc, etc  grrrrr

All very, and bloody jarring to the eyes and to the brain… (Honestly, the moment I receive a forward like this, immediately I want to murder the spammer, who meaninglessly and methodically forwards these thingies – but, mor  on these morons later…)

Sheesh! *&^#!#$%@

Well, perhaps, I must also thankfully admit that, many of my friends kept quiet and did not send (=fwd:) it to me, because either they were too busy forwarding it to other people or they were also tired of this frenetic email-activism or they were terrified of my silly temper. But not one of my friends – he sent it to me. grrr

ME!!!! (pardon my exuberant exclamation marks – at this point I was really hyper-super excited and ultra angry!!!)

Believe me, actually these friends are fundamentally very good people, very sensitive folks with a heart, or so I thought – not that my thoughts really matter…

But… we must  move on to the last and final level Nirvana of Online Social Activism…

Level V: The maximal level that one can reach in Online Social Activism is this exalted level, in which, one realizes that there bloody  way too many bloody  social issues to get involved and to be solved with the help of the aforesaid methods.

So, one can only do a quick, rather qck — retweets, reposts, shares and most importantly, pressing the LIKE  buttons.

The fact that is that, one can mindlessly do this social activism at the rate of 60 LIKEs per second, really adds to the scalability aspects of Social Problem Solving. Hurrah!

If anyone wants some practice on pressing the LIKE button, I have provided one for ready reference and use – at the bottom of the post, which please note.

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In the meantime, I am off to my  Level IV social activism (as above).

You can also join me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pLEaSE CIRCULATE this emil wildly!!!!!!!!!!!!

It ish a warr agunst corption.!!!!!!! Jai

Hind!   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shud reech ass many peeppil plz

long live ARVIND KEJRIWALjee!!!!!!!!

(this is a draft content, and man, I am going to make this email more colourful, add more text and send it across to all  my friends… grrr)

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… Dear unfortunate readers of the blog! Am really, really, really sorry for all the irrational fontastic exclamatory exuberance…

[This JournalEntry was originally vented on September 7, 2011 – at 11:47 pm to be precise, but has been arsively upgraded now. So you would do well to thank ME  profusely, got IT??

And, don’t forget to press the LIKE button for this post, got it you wastrel??]

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