why I love TV

14/11/2014

எச்சரிக்கை:  தொலைக்காட்சிப் பெட்டியின் மீதான என் மாளாக் காதலை, அது இல்லாததால் மனம் வெம்பியிருக்கும் எனக்கு வந்திருக்கும் மீளாப் பசலை நோயை, மூச்சு முட்டவைக்கும் ஏக்கங்களை – மூன்று பாகங்களில் முன்னமே தமிழில் எழுதியிருக்கிறேன் – அவற்றின் சுட்டிகள், இந்த ஆங்கிலப் பதிவின் கீழே உள்ளன… என் கையறு நிலையைப் பாரீர்!  :-(

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In fact, upfront, I would agree that I found the TV to be very  useful to me, when we had one, some 2.5 decades back or so.  In those halcyon days, good old TVs had somewhat fat picture tubes and were very bulky; so ours had a flat surface on top, over which one can very safely keep tea-mugs. But alas, with the new flat screen technologies this very important feature has vanished. Besides, my spouse yells at me, and threatens to mug me if I keep my tea-mugs in random places. So we don’t have a TV at home. :-(

Now, believe me, I am not of those who would say that technology is a veritable, unalloyed evil. I wouldn’t call myself a luddite in the current dictionary sense of the term, but would identify with it, historically speaking. I believe that all technologies (including the illustrious IdiotBox) have their positive and negative sides but with what most of us lack – a sense of discretion & the ability to make sound judgments – most technologies and media become unmitigated & unvarnished evil.

To inappropriately quote the National Rifle Association, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Ja.

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Sometimes I chat up with children, when they are not successful at trying their best to avoid me, that is. So, that rules out most of the School children. However, our local neighborhood children  aren’t that lucky – a few of them that are there, cannot run away from me that easily. Poor things. And yes, in spite of my semi-centurion age, I can really & very easily give those professional and rather juvenile sprinters, a run for their money.

Oh well. During the course of such random conversations, sometimes some appalling facts tumble out. One such tumbler is that parents (thankfully not all of them, only a few, *phew*) allow their children unrestrained access to the TV.  So, these children become armed with a remote control and become perilously dangerous – and eventually graduate to becoming chainsaw murderers at best. They may even explore other career options such as slumdogs or millionaires  or Borepathis… Won’t they?

I have even heard parents rather proudly chittering that whenever their TV is on, which is for about only 24 hours of the day, their little sonny boy snatches the ‘remote’ and monopolizes its use. I really feel proud of the fact that I have been fortunate to meet with such democratic parents. The spirit of capitalism, the monopoly, here I come…

I am also gratified to learn that some parents not only see random 3rd rate ill-formed & half-baked movies, with frontal, backward, sideward, topward and ohmygod, bottomward nudity too, but also encourage their children to learn about the birds and bees the hardway, by watching The Reader, for example! And, ohmygod, don’t I really appreciate such openness and liberal attitudes… Of course, I love Kate Winslut, don’t you? (umm… sorry, Kate)

Now, I agree. This sorry state of affairs that would make the state of Denmark in Hamlet look silly in comparison – could be due to various very genuine reasons such as:

  1. Parents are busy earning a living, while yearning to live.
  2. Parents are busy spending their dying, in activities such as being busy or ohmigod, getting bored.
  3. Parents have got a life too! Don’t they have a right to enjoy life, without bothering about their pesky children? Do you even have a suggestion as to how else children could be kept occupied, without bothering them?
  4. Children are being prepared for becoming good & obedient citizens of the morrow, with the virtues such as stupidity, stupour, moral turpitude, banality, venality, laziness etc etc, being continuously  imbibed from TV.
  5. How else can one ensure supply of quality criminals and bozos and armed-chair intellectuals for the next generation? Talk to us, if you have suggestions.
  6. The children should know what is going on in the world – specifically, they should know life-saving and important details such as who is dating who, why the asinine Aamir Khan has sharp ears in that stupid flick Ghajini and all that. (Apologies to the quadruped, hope he does not mind getting compared to Sir Aamir)
  7. Children are always upto some mischief, so switch on the TV, they sit glued to the screen. Simple, eh?
  8. Our idea of  enjoying a quality family time is to watch Formula 1 races and ghastly_tasteless films together on our Plasma TV – while munching on quality chips and slurping fizzy soda. We aspire to be NOT mere couch potatoes, but mighty couch pumpkins, grr. Well, you have some complaints, we hear?
  9. Weather is not good ‘outside’ for the children to play – oh what a blessing, let them imbibe some values from TV, while I have an SMS conversation with my colleagues and pretend to take part in a conference call.

Oh what will a hapless parent do, oh NO… What can anyone do in this situation,,,

I am sure there are more such genuine reasons and my heart aches and goes out to support the hapless parents, who are left with no choice other than the TV, to take care of their children, to educate them,  to inform them, to entertain them and to be with them! May their blighted souls rot in hell till kingdom come. Amen.

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A couple of decades back (do the math; if you do, you would realize that I have no right to be a parent, but only a  grandparent now), I read Jerry Mander’s ‘Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television’ – an Indian edition of which was published by that indefatigable Claude Alvares. Surprisingly (not) my views have not changed! If any of you want to ‘borrow’ it, please contact me.

It is hard to refute Jerry Mander’s philosophical moorings and arguments. I strongly recommend it to any parent who can afford to take a few precious hours away from their various favourite TV peepshows.

Our friendly Thekambattu karmayogins  have also ranted against the TV because of its direct population reduction results, among many other such abominations, of TVs, I mean… It is heart-rending to see such mishaps happen because of  the insipid and criminal TV serials.

Yes. TV Channels are  the Serial Killers.

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What?? Sorry, what did you say? Is there a nice talkshow on Sun Loon TV? Sorry, I prefer to be my own doshow hostage, ha!

PostScriptum: Yesterday, my father (and neighbor) became poorer by a satellite TV DTH connection, and I promptly requested him and banished his TV to a corner of his room where the evil can stay where it is.

To be charitable to him, I think he merely wants to know the latest news of the world (perhaps, nothing ever seems to happen in our sleepy village) – such as:

1) how the latest child of the latest wife of Srimaan Karunanidhi, the current (and shockingly so!) chief minister of my hapless Tamilnadu,  is being accommodated in the Central Ministry of our Indian Government, in spite of his(it) NOT having been toilet trained – expect more schemings & announcements such as  ‘Free diapers for children and adults!’ for the citizenry.

2) for the FIRST TIME in the ENTIRE history of the Universe, actress Jenni Fur Slobbers, conducts a Realty TV show, sponsored & ‘brought to you’ by the prestigious MantriSoBah Builders Undevelopers.

3) breaking noose – resulting in the cancellation of the hanging of the condemned etc etc

Pardon him (and me), my lord… Father, Son and the holy waste…

JournalEntry# 16th July, 2009

முதல் பாகம்: வீட்டில் தொலைக்காட்சிப் பெட்டியில்லாமல் வாழ்வாங்கு  வாழ்வதெப்படி (1/3)

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One Response to “why I love TV”

  1. சான்றோன் Says:

    என்ன சார் ஆச்சு? பல நாட்களாக உங்கள் தள‌த்தின் பக்கம் உள்ளே வரவே முடியவில்லை? ஏதும் பதுகாப்பு ஏற்பாடா?

    —>>>>>

    அய்யா, அப்படி ஒரு பிரச்சினையும் இருந்ததுபோலத் தெரியவில்லையே? நடுவில் சுமார் ஒரு மாதம் ஒன்றும் எழுதவில்லை, அதனால் அப்படி நினைக்கிறீர்களோ?

    ​​ரா.


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