wrong day, basandhi ! @ ~ &^ $#

30/11/2015

Waste.

A matter of utter waste.

I am really, really angry with myself that I borrowed this movie (or whatever the crap that it is) from a friendly neighbourhood MovieRental – and oh boy, what a disappointment it was. Frankly, I was always apprehensive about this movie, but my spouse was kinda interested and some of my (obviously misinformed) friends were going ga-ga over it and so… Anyway, the deed was done and how sick I feel…

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Is *this* excretal thing a movie? – may be it is – basically this has been a cruftily recycled senti melodramatic kitchadi of enormous mediocrity… However let me admit that it *indeed* was a very funny movie in that:

– Aamir Khan tries his best (what with his rotund body, bulging waste and bags under ummm, his eyes) to imitate P Elvis Thrustley – and how hilarious that was! It was a nice regurgitating feeling to see him dance in a peculiar way, way on top of some broken down wall or some laboured ancient monument! This brought continuous yannis to me (troubled that I was, as it is, with a desi drivel of a redux of ‘yawnni on the ruins of India,’ whatever!) and by this time I was already fighting my sleep off…

– I knew Aamir was short, but believe me – I did not know that he was so short that he outdwarfs even me. This, by itself is NOT a problem – but then, it was obviously an issue for the imagemakers of Aamir – and so the kinda vague camera angles that had to be resorted to thusly project a decent height for the hero (majestic biped) was so cute!

– Is there a story line at all? What with the tenuous stream of consciousness kinda descriptions and labored parallels… Shiitake! (am not swearing, this is a kind of mushroom)

– How come without anysort of any bloody arms training etc, Aamir and Co blaze away and undertake all kinds of escapades.

– Do they wash their faded denims at all? Even if they did, the movie stinks.

– Why does the white body needs to be exploited – especially while shooting a group of elderly, but lascivious, crowd of sick people?

– What did Aamir and co do for a living – (I mean, in the film; me kind of knows that they lead the lives of charlatans in real life, with massive tax evasions and liaisons with thugs)? What they do on a normal day is to zip around, loiter around, have fun, be anti_establishment (which is so easy-peasy) with mom sentiment thrown in for gawd measure and pretty much nothing else… Stupid white actors…

– Why do we need quick fix solutions?

– How can deep seated cancer be cured by cosmetic skills of dermatology? How come a shooting of a politician would help at all? (now, I am sure many jokers would start taking law (including their mothers-in-law) into their own hands and would quote this stupid ‘rang de basanti’ to justify their misdeeds.)

– The camera, oh the camera – why the hell does it need to shake and move when it is not warranted at all? Why this debilitating musicvideo or MTV nutticism? Why so many jerks in the movement? Was this because the jerks that shot the movie or the jerks that pay to see this sad thing? (I know that the actors were/are all jerks, so…)

– Even the few minutes here and there, without throwing up, I got to see that this goddam film had a lot of editing issues – sometimes continuity of context was a cute question too…

– Does Aamir think that he is Tom Hanks or what? I *hate* this terminally bad emulation!

– I think the movie is successful basically because it appeals to the castrated population which cannot take ANY affirmative action against anything and would whine instead and then wants a quick and dirty solution – preferably done by some goddam ersatz babyfaeces…

– It is possible, I agree, that even mediocre actors like AamirKhan can be made to act; but then even this redemption was not possible because of the stupid script and lousy editing/direction.

Frankly, I don’t belong to this group of absolutely doped (and lobotomized for good measure) IT types (am referring to my referee_friends here! Peace be on them!) desperate for adrenalin rush.

Please read a cute review (read: trashing) of the wrong day basandhi written by ranjit hoskote – Kamikaze idealism.

And yes, I should have preferred a bowl of Basandhi (a sweet syruppy liquid made of condensed milk and sugar) from my neighbourhood KCDas lookalike – KK Das, to consuming this mindlessly nauseating bogosity called RDB.

It was a wrong day. I grrr.

This end, justifies the meanness of me, as also the title of this entry. Piss Be Upon You.

But still, am aghast at the reception that this meaningless drivel of the film received, at the box office.

I hallucinate that, since there is no possibility of – even more stupider movie than this being made in India(excepting those from my dear hapless Tamilnadu), because this has already touched the nadir  – one has to become cheerful, and bloody optimistic. The quality can only go up from here. Oh, the hope! :-(

JournalEntry# April 17, 2006

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