the importance of being aravindan kannaiyan
(OR) HH Aravindan Kannaiyan, Asokamitran, Boris Pasternak, Indira Gandhi, Mel Brooks and little else
Dear Sirs and Ma’ams, this settles it. It is rather unfortunate, but we have to take the bullshit by the barns, am sorry.
Unless the most Venerable, His Holeness Aravindan Kannaiyan, by hook or crook (or by some goddam IT socialmedia revoltingution, and bending of the rules by #trending #twitterstorm #goingviral or some such #brain_dead_fever; or by exploiting the loopholes of the US immigration rules much like the H1B/Greencard scams; or…) becomes the next American President, there is no hope for the feudal society that is India.
And of course, there is no hope for the likes of poor Asokamitran, ‘the quintessential bourgeoise middle class citizen,’ who unfortunately does not live up to the grand expectations of the HH. I really shudder to think how a single scholarly stellar literary critic such as my dear HH, could wreck havoc with the careers and fortunes of many a littérateur like Asokamitran, by ripping their ouevre apart. And, of course, I am a fan of the HH, mind you.
As is my wont these days, I like to sit at the lotus feet of my fiend, flawsopher & frood – and bask in the reflected glory! He is my bother, schmuck and the holy waste. So, I am oh so pleased and am resting content. There is a definite pleasure in surrendering to the highly evolved and advanced folks such as my dear HH.
I am also reminded of Mel Brook’s The Critic. It is impossible that it was so futuristic, as to character sketch presciently, the antics of my dear HH; for those, who come in late, here is the surprisingly useful wikipedia entry for The Critic.
This is a just 3.5 minute gem of a film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiYjwRZK_NM; Enjoy.
…And ah, now that you have viewed The Critic, don’t you agree with me and say, YES!
Dammit, why are you grinning?
Don’t you bloody see that – unless it happens, Asokamitran to Vijayakanth, ISRO to IndianLiterature, BadriSeshadri to poor Me, Democracy to Feudalism, Karumanidhi to Jaish al-Litha, Ilaiyaraja to a_is_rahman — nothin’ & nobody will be spared in the continued and hifalutin’ sparring, that too very longish longform ones, of the venerable & saintly Spartacurse??
And, if USA has to have its own illustrious & continuing traditions of democracy, and retain them intact, neo-converts & freshmint citizens with their new-found religious fervour and zeal are the final solution or endlösung, if you will, to end all goddam problems of the world. Amen.
Way to go, Amerikka! Attaboy, AK!
I really hope that, the NRI community (or Kammanaatti, as a friend jokingly refers to them all the time, being a much hoary, dyed-in-the-fool NRI himself!) gets it act together and makes him busy elsewhere.
It is my fervent plea to the Amerikkan Indian Diaperspora, puhlease!
Puhlease save us – the hapless and development_challenged Indians who have been left behind – and of course, yourselves.
One should understand that, if #AravindanKannaiyanForAmericanPresident2016! does not happen for some sane reason or the other, both USA and India had it, really. Otherwise it is Kaputt, honestly. Sorry to present this picture of stark reality, doom and destruction.
On the other hand, the NRI amerikkans (Tamil wingers) can consider petitioning the current employers and the spouse of the HH Saheb to give him loads of work and generally tire him out, so that at least the voluminous hyperboles and advices, I mean, butt-torrents (sorry, even by my own abysmal standards, it is a bit excessive; but it is butter that way, what?) can be pinched out a little bit.
Butt, shit happens man, shit happens, oh what to do! It hits the [Asokamitran’s] fan, man, oh what do I do! ;-)
Department of Lame Disclaimers
I do not have anything personal against Aravindan Kannaiyan; in fact, many of my best friends are Aravindan Kannaiyans. All the opinions expressed by me are not my opinions. My positive opinions (are there any?) are not endorsements. My negative opinions, including this lame disclaimer, are actually sparkling with humour, but are serious. If you don’t follow me, you are a moron. Worse still, if you don’t follow me, I will follow you. Mor on it later. Sorry.
Just kidding, dear. I merely hate all forms of lameness, sloppiness, shoddiness & intellectual pretensions. That’s all. That’s why I loathe myself too.
But, in spite of myself, I would like to have a long, loving and mutually respectful relationship with the venerable HH AK Saheb – just like my other relationships – with the likes of HH S.Ramakrishnan and the young, porn again pontiff, HH Yuvakrishna. I really wish, I expanded my circle of deep & meaningful relationships. No, I am not homosexual.
And yeah, looks like, just like yours truly, AK saheb is also apparently jobless at his day-job.
And ah, add to this basic raw material, the pleasures of long distance fumin’ & frettin’ and lamentin’ the lack of everything in an essentially feudal society such as India – yes, I know what I am talking about. It is oh so easy to watch a couple of videos, readup/lookup about the release date of a book and make some random causal connections, rather indifferently at that, and pontificate ad nauseam. And yes again, I know what I am talking about.
As a person afflicted with the same boorish asinine logical flow of thoughts, I commiserate with the plights of punsies of the aforesaid HH.
Sirs and Ma’ams – I do not have any problems with the opinions and scholarly take of AK about Asokamitran’s work, and the Dravidian Zeitgeist, the sad state of Indian science etc etc; actually, I did not and do not plan to know much about this Ilayaraja-youthfulIdiot spat and of course, Vijayakanth spat.
I also agree that USA gives the fundamental liberty of free expression (devoid of logic sometimes, but what the heck) and I really love that AK is able to make full use of it, in all its blunder.
Worse still, I actually like AK’s prose style, long winding sentences – and hell, I do tend to agree with quite a few of his takes – but not necessarily his logic. Mind you, before I came to this stellar conclusion, I wanted to get to know what his ideas are/were about etc, and have read the whole of his blog, mommeee, over the past few months or so. I feel that, he is generally good intentioned, but sometimes, in his over enthusiasm to prove his point (or pointlessness, as the case maybe), routinely takes major leaps of faith and enters into territories, that do not exactly seem to be his forte. This is a MAJOR problem for him and his hapless readers like yours truly. And this is because, though he does his homework & provides references, he does not do a very thorough job of it. This is rather unfortunate. Of course, I understand that, being in IT industry, one tends to become mediocre across many fields. Yes, I know myself.
However, I really really wish, he did his homework properly, at least henceforth.
He should not have a problem here – as, unlike the feudally wilting India, doesn’t the democratically vibrant USA, give access to all kinds of fantastic resources and materials?
Sorry indeed are our half-bakery.com factories and their monopolistic owners, that dish out perennial wisdom – just because there is a good Internet connection available, and there is enough free time so that we can freely ‘air’ our jaundiced and half-baked views. We revel in mediocrity and in our learned gasbag opinions. We are insufferable.
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