mathematical pornography


Once upon a time, 1/t… …there was this Singularity, epitome of epistemology.

She was in her prime. She should have stayed with platonic solidude. But she wanted to explore relationships, at least in number theory.

But, Truth table be told, she habitually did item numbers. She was a natural numero uno, you know what I mean? She even did mobius strip tease and created bawdies of knowledge. The entry fee  to her show and tell events were XORbitant.

…unfortunately, venn did it happen, nobody knows – but she, in a weak coupled moment, fell for a pointless pick-up line that floored her in a different plane! She experienced a tangential force in the direction of a really insignificant Fraction.

Now, the latter was a very complex figure and always referred to himself grandiosely as i. He was the root of all evil. Very negative and very eunuch. Very absurd. Sine of things to come. CONjecture.

…This fractious fraction was very determinant to integrate Singularity by parts and by u-substitution.  He even assumed trigonometric identities to do his evil deed.  He was irrational in general, but was very calculus in his approach. Oh wasn’t he a vulgar fraction.

Now, you should remember that, life is not all that ratio and therefore people are very logicallous.

But, how does it matrix?  :-(

…Poor Singularity screamed and writhed in infinite agony. Vulgar fraction operated upon her and used all the rulers at his disposal, including the abominable denominator. He used quotients. He used the products. Dammit, he even used the chains, the sadomasochist.  He took her to the limits. *erf*

Now, as Time progressed Newsweek after Newsweek, Life did not, it stopped circulation and wasn’t even available to subscribers. In the (t1+t2)/2, dame Singularity increasingly became irregular, exponentially rollypolly and her polyhedron increased in geometric progression. Sadly there was no harmony, even polynominally.

…When Singularity’s spherical coordinates asymptotically touched the limits of analytic geometry, convergence became divergence, and out emerged, nano Singularities. Cutie πs.

They all, happily lived ever after. t->∞.

Moral of the story: R should not do any more observation of classes, wherein *other* people muck up the content, pedagogy and molaga bajji.


[last night, (after some observations of some really harrowing highschool math classes during the day in some schools) I wrote up this ‘procreative writing’ thingie to amuse myself and my mathematically inclined friends, including my wifey; very vaguely & hazily remember that I read something like this in some math journal, some 35-40y back or so – or may be I am imagining this too as I am given to massive hallucinations, but it is besides the ., thanks! (anyway, if you can point me to an original source if there were one, I would be eternally grateful and would ack it)

The thing is, circa 1980-82 I was writing all kinds of trashy nonsense like this to ‘fine-hone’ my angrezi skills and to tickle myself; wrote an abridged ramayana+mahabharatha using the language of math (and also some very Grim fairytales, ISTR that!) and in a local coarse dialect of Tamil called ‘madras baashai’ – but only this math porn notes seem to be available as a manuscript. So much for the remembrance of thingies past!]

12 Responses to “mathematical pornography”

  1. tangential force in the direction of a really insignificant Fraction.


  2. Kannan Says:

    Nice, but an image is worth thousand words.

    Video is even better :)

  3. Sridhar Tiruchendurai Says:

    Way too complex for me… Really

  4. RC Says:

    ஒரே குழப்பம் அய்யா.
    “தங்கள் அவதானிப்புகள்” அனைத்தும் “தங்கள் திராவிட மாதிரிக்குள்” அடங்கிவிடுமா என்ன?

    எங்கள் அவதானிப்புகள் + மாதிரிக்குள் இப்போது “மல்லு”க்களின் அவதானிப்புகளும் இணைந்துள்ளன [பார்க்க “சன்னி கேரளம்”..ஜெ பதிவு]
    எனவே நாங்களே அனைத்தையும் “பின்” நோக்கும் “முன் மாதிரி”.
    R^ 2 தான் திராவிட மீன்.. இல்ல இல்ல திமிங்கலம்
    அது எப்பவும் நம்பர் 1.

    • யோவ்! டாஸ்மாக்கு ஸரக்க ஏத்திக்கின கமலகாசம்மாறீ இன்னாபா இது! பிர்யவேயில்லயே!

      ஜெயமோவன் தளத்துக்கு ராவுக்கு போலாம்னிட்டு ரோசனைல கீறேன், அப்பால பாக்கலாம், வர்ட்டா ராசா?

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Not understanding, write in tamizh.,

    • sir, anomymouse, why are you getting tensor?

      but, the vectorious march of the islamic state mosquitoes, is not scalaring up.

      no worries.

      __r, who wants to thank you for acknowledging the fact that, I ‘normally’ write in TAMIL only. :-))

மேற்கண்ட பதிவு (அல்லது பின்னூட்டங்கள்) குறித்து (விருப்பமிருந்தால்) உரையாடலாமே...

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